Ever since the early 2000's people have told me, and countless other of my friends, "You have to be content being single in order for God to send you someone." Yesterday, however, was my last straw. While peeling potatoes with me, a very awesome Christian friend of mine counseled me with, what has almost become part of Christian doctrine: "You have to be content..." Although these many friends in the past have meant well, I beg to differ with what they believe to be a "now very obvious" and true philosophy. If being content in singlehood is the key to finding Mr./Mrs. Right, then why ... :
1) ... after many periods of total singlehood contentment, have we never found anyone to fall in love with?
2) ... for this to happen, would God require only that we be content in this part of our life?
3) ... are many perfect Christian relationships born out of two people not content being single...and far, far from perfect? (I know some do happen that way, but not all ...)
4) ... does this sound just like advice Job got from his friends? "Obviously you're sinning if ...." Let's just learn the lesson from Job.
5) ... HELLO! (and my biggest point of all), IS THERE NO BIBLICAL SUPPORT (that I have ever heard of) FOR THIS BELIEF??
Therefore, my belief is that that belief is a bunch of junk (to put it mildly) and needs to stop being touted as some mature Christian philosophy. Thank you!
If you have any true, sage, and Biblical advice on this subject, you can let me know. Until then, I plan to continue growing in my relationship with Christ, becoming more content in each area of my life, but all the time realizing not to play it as some magical key to finding a guy.
P.S.
As I said, these are dear people who suggested this thought, but I just don't want others to be misled, as it can be hindering.
5 comments:
You've got it right! The advice to be content being single is exactly backwards to what the Bible says, "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness." (Matt 6:33) Seeking to be content with singleness is not necessarily seeking God. In serving God as a missionary (not that everyone has to be a missionary), Paul learned that "in whatever state I am, to be content." (Phill. 4:11) Paul didn't live with the goal to learn to be content being poor or learn to be content being hungry. He lived to serve God whole-heartedly and as a side-result he learned to be content. And it wasn't just as poor or hungry that he learned contentment, he learned to be content when he had plenty of money and food as well.
The advice to try to be content being single may be based on experience, in that someone who is trying to act like they don't care will come across as less needy and clingy. They may have a better chance at a relationship than the one who is attacking every guy who crosses their path as a potential date. But the advice is not biblical.
Oh blast it all! Someone gave that advice before I got here.
My big question was "How the beep am I supposed to figure out whether God wants me to get married or not?" Followed quickly by "If He does, how the beep to I decide who He wants me to marry?" Fortunately He did finally open my eyes.
It might depend some one what "content" means. It's not "happy exactly as I am now". There's nothing saying one can't be content and still seeking more. Being content as single doesn't mean one must give up all plans and hopes, or never do anything to accomplish those plans and hopes.
I should have put this in a blog posting. Maybe it wouldn't have sounded so preachy in a blog post vs a comment post. Sorry if it sounded that way; it's a topic that's hard to handle in two or three sentences.
That's awesome, you two. You're right on. Thanks! :)
You're right Olivia. God doesn't give anyone of us "good" things based on what we do. It's not a works-based system.
Our main purpose is to bring everything under the Lordship of Christ, not to get married or rich, although that may well be good too, it is not why we are here soley. God rules. We are in the same boat Olivia...
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